It seems needless to say—this is a story-telling blog promoting a series of stories I’ve written or am in the process of writing after all—but stories hold significant meaning in our lives. Think about this though, for this idea is multifaceted. We don’t only consume the stories written for us in fictional books, we also consume the stories of those around us: our family and friends, people we find fascinating in the media, global stories that alter modern lives. What’s more, we tell our own stories. Stories that we not only shape, but that shape us in return.
Think of the last time you had a job interview and you were asked why you wanted the position and what you were hoping to accomplish (long-term) by holding the position. In other words, what was your story up to that point and what were you hoping for it to be going forward. Answering this question is no small feat—it can be daunting to put all your past decisions and future uncertainties into a connected, fluid narrative, especially when you don’t and can’t know how your own story will end (besides the very obvious period at the end of everyone’s last sentence of life).
But therein lies the magic of story. While challenging, crafting a narrative that fits together all the disparate pieces of your life—a narrative that you have the power to craft and choose as you please—shapes how you view your own life and how you choose to proceed with this knowledge, thus shaping your future. In fact, a recent Scientific American article titled “To Lead a Meaningful Life, Become Your Own Hero,” suggests doing just that by utilizing the now infamous Hero’s Journey model (a timeless model first posited by mythologist and writer Joseph Campbell).
Jumping back to the interview example, let’s say you’re interviewing for a managerial position but you’ve never held such a role. Utilizing the model, you cast yourself as the protagonist—the hero—who embarked on a knowledge quest (got your Bachelor’s in Leadership for Justice and Equity), overcame many challenges (worked at a non-profit and ran a student organization all while maintaining a solid GPA), had help from allies far and wide (professors, mentors, counselors, friends, and yes, even your fat housecat who you ran presentations by), and discovered the Holy Grail (really liked that one class you took in sophomore year on Organizational Management and decided to take a dive), all on a quest to save the world (in this case, to create more sustainable communities and to empower people through your leadership) (Scientific American, 2023). A narrative that, given the right amount of reflection, can really boost your purpose in life and can give you an edge when it comes to job attainment.
All this to say, stories can be powerful tools. We learn from others through their stories (what to do and, often, what not to). We learn about ourselves and our own unique journeys through our own stories. And we shape both the meaning and the direction of our own lives by the combination of stories we get told and those we create.
But it’s important to note that the wrong stories can also lead us astray. In The Story Paradox (Scientific American, 2023), author Jonathan Gottschall warns that stories and even attachment to certain stories, whether self-generated or not, can trap us in beliefs or even roles that do not serve us. For example, strictly adhering to the justice trope and believing that good will always triumph can blind us to realities that regardless persist around us. We may believe that those who deserve to win a position in an upstanding career or into the school they worked so hard to get into will. But the reality is that many deserving people don’t always get the things they want. Systemic barriers and injustices can impede equitable advancements, giving privileges to those who aren’t always deserving and taking away from those who might be. This is an everyday reality that a story alone cannot change, I don’t care how powerful.
Another example would be the stories we tell ourselves about our seeming failures and inability to achieve going forward. Perhaps we missed opportunities we believe are necessary to achieving a job position now or we seriously miscalculated someone’s demeanor during that one job interview and made the worst possible joke and now think we aren’t fit to be seen in public again, let alone to hold a position in leadership. The stories we tell ourselves about, well, ourselves, can have the power to make or break our successes. So we had better reflect deeply and consider the outcome we want to aim for.
K.G. Wiles 