Writer Diaries #2:

A Return! and a blank sheet of paper…

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

I went back to school.

Okay, okay, that’s not the only reason I haven’t been on here in like three years. I let myself think my blogging was useless and my voice was not something anyone cared to hear. I have since come to my senses. So, two moves, a pandemic, and three breakups later (also, several huge identity crises) and I am back! I think—I hope! We’ll see, I guess, because I am currently applying to grad schools and might be a tad busy in the years to come. But fret not, I still managed to finish the first draft of my second book (book two of the series) and have recently been rereading in preparation for the first few major edits (the hardest part of the whole process, yes, but an exciting part nonetheless). I’m excited, anyway. Less overwhelmed than I was the last time I wrote an entry like this one. That’s because I spread my focus to other areas of my life, got some perspective, and remembered, through some much needed time away, how much I love writing and how much I—especially—love The Treehouse Castaways.

To bring you up to speed with my writing journey: I never stopped, but I haven’t been at it as much as I once was. There have been large gaps between writing bouts. Once, in an especially bleak winter, I even lost an entire year’s worth of work and nearly gave up on my story (to say nothing of my life). But I managed to—barely—get it back by scrounging every ounce of courage I had and scouring the internet for tips (never underestimate the power of the internet).

I have not kept up with short stories as much as I (probably) should have, but have written a few since last I set down an entry here, discussing just such a thing. I took a creative writing class at my community college, the semester before I started at UC Davis, and this pushed me to complete some pieces, which I am planning on sharing on this website once I make a new page for it.

Most importantly, I finished writing the first draft of book 2 (of The Treehouse Castaways series) and, recently—as in today—finished the reread and will be planning my next attack (that is, the first edit phase) in the days/weeks to come. It’s a very busy next couple of weeks for me with a talk at UCLA coming up, grad school applications, several classes, my brother and stepmom visiting California for the first time since they left back in 2016. So we’ll see how much I can get done. But I don’t plan on ever stopping, so you can be assured I’ll get to it all eventually!

Lastly, I wanted to make a special note for anyone out there who might be struggling with something I often have. My long sabbatical from this blog, indeed from this website, has come along with some special insight mostly gained whilst pursuing other interests, other successes or failures (depending upon how you look at it), and other areas of life): our voices matter. No matter who you are or what you’ve done or where you’ve been or where you’re going. We all have something important to say and something important to share. And I guess you never know who you might touch, who might be listening and needing your very specific insights.

I did not always know this, obviously. And I took for granted that I was in a better position to use it (have had consistent access to computers and the internet, am educated to the point of literacy, don’t have people threatening me when I do practice sharing my voice) than some. But I needed to learn to use it, and to recognize that I both can and should, at least to the best of my ability. And so can/should you (if you can, of course—not everyone has the same privileges). But if you are like I was, and don’t think you have anything important to say, just know that you do. And you can learn to do anything, including share your very special way of seeing the world.

Writer Diaries #1:

Humble Beginnings…

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

Having resolved to blog regularly, I thought I’d keep track of something that could prove useful in future (not just for myself, but perhaps for anyone else out there who finds themselves at the bottom of a very steep mountain range in which writing regularly might be the first hurdle and the last having something to do with managing thousands—millions (?)—of screaming fans in Rowling-esque fashion).  Namely, I am keeping track, starting now, of my writing journey. Granted I have missed the last decade in terms of blogging, but even though I have been writing since an early age, I have yet to be published and reach an audience and thus am as far away from the top of the mountain as anyone else who is just starting out. (Just to be clear, my goal isn’t necessarily to have thousands or millions of screaming fans, though that might be nice if it were to happen at all.)

So, where am I currently?

Well, if you have been exploring here on my website at all, you might notice that I am in the process of writing a novel (actually, as of this blog, I have finished it and am searching for agents in which to send it to). This is my first completed novel (and the first chapter can be read right here).

As this book is not a standalone, I am also in the process of writing the second book and planning the next two—enough work all on its own. But, as I have researched more and more about the scary publishing world, I have come to the conclusion that having a too-large first novel and being a newbie that no one knows anything about is going to make it very hard to get traditionally published. Rather, it is highly advised by many sources to have been published to some lesser degree by a literary magazine (or two or three) beforehand.

Which means short stories.

I have written several in the past (short stories, that is), one for this website and the series I am working on (which can be found here); I have even sent a few into some contests, but again, have never been published.

Well, long story short, I am taking a second crack at it. And let me tell you, I have never had such bad writer’s block in all my life. Granted I am juggling a lot, but my schedule supports time for writing, I have been writing regularly each day for the last few years or so, and I have read extensively (and plan to continue).

So why the trouble, especially as I have written shorts before?

I think it’s to do with taking that first and serious step forward, toward publication. I am no longer writing just for myself. I am hoping that my shorts, and by extension, my novels, will begin reaching audiences. And the first of those audiences is the hardest. For my novel to have a better chance at traditional publishing, I will likely need some credits from having published short stories. And in order to get those published, I need to win over the editors of such contests and magazines with original, breathtaking, and cleverly written shorts.

Not such an easy task.

I am feeling a bit overwhelmed here, at my start. I know I can’t expect such perfect stories to just flow right out of me, especially in the beginning, especially when I’m worrying about what the editors are going to think, especially when I haven’t been writing shorts for some time.

Take a deep breath, I tell myself. And I always do. But deep breaths don’t win contests!

Actually, they just might. After a serious bout of writer’s block that hit me so hard last week I was struggling with work on my novel (a job that generally comes easy since I am so in-tune with my characters and that world), I took a day off from writing and decided to do something I hadn’t done in a while: I took my dog and my board out to the park and I played. I also took the weekend to read short stories, to fill my empty tank back up to full with ideas and inspiration. I had so much fun during all of this, that I didn’t even worry about my not being able to write or come up with the perfect story and the perfect surprising character developments.

And come Monday, I had new ideas for the short story that I was stuck on. The writing started out slow, but it began to pick up and I am now much more confident that there is something I am trying to say with this piece. I have simply to write it, to chip away the excess, and to see for myself.

The publication and the wins will come, with time I think, practice, and when I am ready (just as they do for anybody who sticks it out in this world).

So if you are feeling overwhelmed by the journey ahead, uncertain if these hurdles are passable, take heart, for I have been there as well (I still am). And so have countless writers before us. I think the most important thing is to keep moving forward, keep writing. Day by day. Don’t worry about how good you are, just let the stories excite you and the characters take you places you’ve never gone (and this is me telling myself this advice, because sometimes I forget).